My dearest Lucas,
Tomorrow you turn ten. A decade old! In some ways the time has flown by and in others it’s completely stopped.
Everyday I wonder about you. How you are. How’s school. Who your friends are. If you’re feeling happy, safe, and loved. I wonder if your memories of me have all faded or if you still hold on to them.
I want you to know that no matter how old you get or how much time goes by I will always be here loving you. I hope that you are as certain of my love for you as you are your own heartbeat.
You were always a smart, caring, funny little boy. I hope that hasn’t changed. I hope you still tell jokes that make everyone laugh no matter how bad of a day they are having. I hope you still help where you see a need. I hope you still challenge yourself to try new experiments.
I know that it will be years before you see these letters but when you do I want you to know that you were always celebrated. Tomorrow I will start working on “your” choirs latest fundraiser. It seems fitting to start the work for it on your birthday as it was my promise to you that I would do my best to help them get a new organ.
As I’m working on that I hope that you are having a blast. I hope that your birthday brings you yummy treats and awesome gifts. I hope that you know that mommy would be there if she could and though I hope you miss my presence I hope you are not saddened by it. I pray you hold onto hope.
I love you my little man. Happy, happy, birthday.
Love always and forever,