Christopher Felix

imageMy Chrissy,

Tomorrow you will be eight. Eight?! I still remember when you cried about turning four. You thought that was so old.

I wonder how you feel now. I wonder if you realize how young and innocent you truly are. I’m sorry that I won’t be seeing you for yet another birthday.

I know you miss me, the investigator told me how much you want to see me. I try to keep these post upbeat, because I know eventually you and your siblings will get to read them, but my heart is breaking for you. I know how bad it hurts to want to see someone you can’t. I’m sorry you have to feel that. Hopefully it won’t be for much longer.

For now I hope you hold onto all your happy memories of our times together; all the hugs, cuddling while reading, me rubbing your feet, the parties we had for your toys, and so many more things. My goodness sweet boy you were and are loved so much!!!

I also hope you have a Happy Birthday! I hope you have fun, smile, and get some fun gifts. I would have loved to at least sent you a gift, but your father said he’d throw it away if I did. Just please know you are not forgotten. I could never forget my special little boy who brought so much love into not just my life, but everyone he’s ever met.

Tomorrow I will spend the day celebrating your birthday with people you love and who love and miss you. We will be spending the day figuring out how to celebrate you even though you won’t be there to enjoy it. I hope you will somehow feel how much you are still apart of my family, my heart, my life…

My sweet, sweet, boy Happy Birthday. Mommy loves you always.

<3,

Mommy

 

 

 

 

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Author: Debbie L Benoit

I am a mom first and foremost. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my babies. Not a decision is made in my life without wondering how it will effect them. I'm not perfect by any means but I always try to be the best role model that I can be to them.

2 thoughts on “Christopher Felix”

  1. We love you very much. I miss your hugs in the hallway at school. I miss the play dates at the park. I miss all the good times we have had at my house. I hate not bring able to hug ypu and talk to you. I hope to be able to talk to ypu again, to celebrate a birthday with you. To share in your laughter and help with your pain. Your family means so much to me.

  2. Oh my little red headed imp! How much I miss you. I wish i could hug you right now. I remember you always saying, You girgot my hug! And we would get all mushy.
    I love the spirit in you you. Your nothing-will-stop-me attitude. The way you give love to everyone around you.
    I love you Chrissy. Happy Birthday from Miss Kathy and Mr Bob

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