Tomorrow you will be eight. Eight?! I still remember when you cried about turning four. You thought that was so old.
I wonder how you feel now. I wonder if you realize how young and innocent you truly are. I’m sorry that I won’t be seeing you for yet another birthday.
I know you miss me, the investigator told me how much you want to see me. I try to keep these post upbeat, because I know eventually you and your siblings will get to read them, but my heart is breaking for you. I know how bad it hurts to want to see someone you can’t. I’m sorry you have to feel that. Hopefully it won’t be for much longer.
For now I hope you hold onto all your happy memories of our times together; all the hugs, cuddling while reading, me rubbing your feet, the parties we had for your toys, and so many more things. My goodness sweet boy you were and are loved so much!!!
I also hope you have a Happy Birthday! I hope you have fun, smile, and get some fun gifts. I would have loved to at least sent you a gift, but your father said he’d throw it away if I did. Just please know you are not forgotten. I could never forget my special little boy who brought so much love into not just my life, but everyone he’s ever met.
Tomorrow I will spend the day celebrating your birthday with people you love and who love and miss you. We will be spending the day figuring out how to celebrate you even though you won’t be there to enjoy it. I hope you will somehow feel how much you are still apart of my family, my heart, my life…
My sweet, sweet, boy Happy Birthday. Mommy loves you always.